Finalize draft of spirits

content/writing/spirits/index.md

@@ -1,7 +1,6 @@
 ---
-title: "The Day of Spirits"
+title: "Persistence of Vision"
-date: 2026-04-16T20:38:09-07:00
+date: 2026-04-18T23:26:00-07:00
-draft: true
 type: thevoid
 ---
 
@@ -30,12 +29,12 @@ Take Molly, who hangs now with Hex from a grapevine, the both of them agitated
 by the wind resembling pennants on some carnival string. The
 first Molly he met, who serves now for him as a departure point for a whole
 lineage of kindred spirits, was a deep red: she was born during a Fire.
-That day, dark overburdened clouds covered the sky like dense wool and
+That day, overburdened clouds covered the sky like dense wool and
-unleashed after much unwanted loitering their promised downpour, and with it
+unleashed after much unwanted loitering their promised downpour and
-streaks of lightning. The flames spread quickly through the birch forest
+lightning. Flames spread quickly through the birch forest beneath. The
-beneath. The Fire raged for days, sucking in its gluttony the surrounding
+Fire raged for days, sucking in the surrounding atmosphere its gluttony
-atmosphere and spewing it upwards mingled with ash. A haze of purple, pink,
+and spewing it upwards mingled with ash. A haze of purple, pink, orange
-orange and yellow replaced the thunderclouds.
+and yellow replaced the thunderclouds.
 
 Hex was swept then by the Fire's incessant breath towards the birches.
 Flames danced among charred silhouettes that used to be trees.
@@ -64,7 +63,7 @@ For days the Fire and its remnants precipitated reddish spirits among whom
 Hex often heard tales of burning, rising, destruction. Thoughts
 of the Fire were in the air, exchanged by passerby spirits carried in
 currents for brief moments along similar trajectories. He found a Molly
-and reminded her of her of the day before, and saw that same spark in her
+and reminded her of the day before, and saw that same spark in her
 eyes. They spent that day rolling like tumbleweeds through a nearby valley,
 talking in voices oscillating with their rotation.
 
@@ -85,9 +84,9 @@ violence on the horizon. The storm draws nearer.
 They talk --- Hex still clumsily searching for words --- but it is becoming
 harder and harder to hear. The sky is polluted at first by pioneering clouds,
 then enveloped completely. The sun is shut out. The rain, not straw anymore
-but billowing sheets, beats against their faces. There is no way to see and
+but billowing sheets, beats against their faces. There is no way to see
-speak but facing away from this relentless onslaught. Water runs in
+and speak except by facing away from this relentless onslaught. Water runs
-miniature rivers down their faces. Their hands tightly grip their
+in miniature rivers down their faces. Their hands tightly grip their
 anchor-vine.
 
 Hex goes first. Slapped in the face with surprising force by a flying branch,
@@ -150,9 +149,9 @@ Hex's tree into a new spiral just as the cycles of sunbeams all arrive at
 their individual troughs. The darkness drops again. The world spins
 dizzyingly around him while he clutches desperately for stability. When
 his vessel rights itself again, veering through some aerodynamic mystery
-into a semblance of stability, he listens again to the colossus' endless
+into a semblance of stability, he listens once more to the colossus'
-tirade. At some point it must have given way to thunder. Specks of brown
+endless tirade. At some point it must have given way to thunder. Specks of
-flicker in the distance. A spot of cornflower bobs nearby.
+brown flicker in the distance. A spot of cornflower bobs nearby.
 
 Molly rides unsteadily on her own arborous steed. She has already spotted
 him, and waves excitedly, then reaches out her hand. It is now or never.
@@ -174,8 +173,8 @@ Their eternity suspended in the directionless void gives way. Features of
 the landscape drift into view. Rain abates; clouds part. Lightning turns
 to distant flashes in the corners of their eyes and thunder's rumble
 fades. Still nearly weightless they remain swirling in the air until by
-some trick of their geometry the cliffs cut off the wind altogether and
+some trick of their geometry familiar cliffs cut off the wind altogether
-leave them to splash with their remaining speed into their ledge.
+and leave them to splash with their remaining speed into their ledge.
 
 They sit together in silence. His red-pink hand holds hers. For some time,
 they watch the landscape. Water drops from trees disturbed by wind as if
@@ -190,14 +189,14 @@ Molly and Hex have not moved from where they were deposited by the last of
 the storm's force, and this time he squints against sunlight that streams
 from behind her.
 
-"That was the strongest wind we've ever had! I'm glad I found you. There
+"That was the strongest wind we've ever had! I'm glad I found you," Molly
-was so much chaos, but you seemed _at ease_ in the end. I guess it was
+says. "There was so much chaos, but you seemed _at ease_ in the end.
-pretty fun in the end, but after all that floating, isn't it good to have
+I guess it turned out pretty fun, but after all that floating, isn't it
-some _weight_ again?" He can tell she's hinting at something, but he has
+good to have some _weight_ again?" He can tell she's hinting at something,
-no idea that might be. Instead, he brings up the colossus in the clouds.
+but he has no idea what that might be. Instead, he brings up the colossus
-What is it like to think the melange of thoughts of all spirits, each life
+in the clouds. What is it like to think the melange of thoughts of all
-enveloping the next like onion layers and tinting the final image? When it
+spirits, each life enveloping the next like onion layers and tinting the
-speaks its words, does it know what it means?
+final image? When it speaks its words, does it know what it means?
 
 Hex still can't find the right words. Molly saw the giant, but didn't
 think too much of it. He wants her to feel the mystery, the awe, the